i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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