i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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