I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
