it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize