did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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