had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
organizing the empties. That sober.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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