i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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