did you get engaged???
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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