college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
