So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
