I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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