I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
