I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
