i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
