You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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