i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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