the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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