Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Alive.
So much puke
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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