On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
