he shaved USA in his pubs
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
