Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
