Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
