He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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