Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
