I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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