Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what day is it and did you see me today?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
