the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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