i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
