Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
