You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
