what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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