Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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