wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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