is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize