normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
