I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
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I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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