You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize