He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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