people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
