there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
