One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
