@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
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This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
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She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon