nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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