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• (248): View more from Michigan

  @ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (925): View more from California

  She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon

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