too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand