I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
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I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period