Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?