She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
