is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
