My underwear smells like fireworks.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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