She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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