Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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