awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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