last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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