3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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