We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
