My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
