There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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