we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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