Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
