he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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