i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
