i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize