I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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