Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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