Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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