if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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